How come there are so few magical birth control options in fantasy settings?
There is Jewelry Of Contraception, Miscarriage Hex, and Abortion Potion, and that’s it.
But come on, guys, it’s magic. Those are both things we can accomplish in the real world with science.
Why not “as long as this knot remains tied, your pregnancy will not progress any further. The embryo is fine, just frozen in time until you’re ready to become a parent!”
Or “I have turned the baby into a berry. get the father of the baby to eat it, and it’s his problem now”
Or “I’ve hexed your gonads, you won’t have any kids at all ever until you do a favor for a witch, preferably me”
Or “lol, I stole your dick in the middle of the night and put it on my tree with all the other dicks in the village”
Come on, guys, get creative!
man, I was thinking too small. it’s MAGIC, guys
“I have put the baby inside this seed. when you plant the seed, a flower will grow, and your baby will be inside it. your baby might be the size of a mouse, or uh look like a mouse, but hey, we can’t have everything. it can still talk and wear clothes, and those are the important things, right? it’ll save you a ton of cloth over the years, trust me”
“I have sent the baby into the future. the NEXT time either of you has a kid, it will be this baby, regardless of who you have it with. this baby will always be top of the queue until one of you lets it be born.”
“I took your womb, and put it in an eggshell in a duck in a chest in a tree guarded by a dragon at the end of the world. so the next time you get pregnant, it will definitely be on purpose.”
“I turned the baby into a cat. everyone likes kittens, right?”
“the baby isn’t “dead” so much as “turned back into an egg and a splash of jizz.” magic is cool, isn’t it?”
“you will only ever be fertile immediately after you eat turnips. and by immediately, I mean, put a turnip on the nightstand, if you catch my drift.”
“I have donated your fetus to the fetus lottery that witches draw from for infertile couples. it’s, uh, currently in this cauldron. yes this looks like leek and potato soup, but trust me, it’s a fertility potion.”
“here is your baby. a stick. I definitely turned a real human child into a stick, and didn’t give it to the fairies. this stick is for you to keep.”
honestly these r great but none are as weird as Hans My Hedgehog
‘i meant to put your baby in a duck’s egg but i was drunk so now you just lay eggs. im pretty sure they’re duck eggs. we’re just gonna have to see’
Category: Uncategorized
Iswarya Jayakumar & Shruthi Nair, Bharatanatyam fusion, Singapore
Please check this out my fam, and prepare to be amazed.
I dreamt I was a butterfly ~
I went back and finished a drawing that I started a year ago and I’m honestly really happy with it. I missed drawing Zen, so I might start doing it again
“A monster is not such a terrible thing to be. From the Latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the Old French to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once.”
— Ocean Vuong, from “A Letter To My Mother That She Will Never Read”, published in The New Yorker (via soracities)
A frog that occasionally tells the future but only when he feels like it
“There is a certain irony here, because many of the first werewolves to be outed in society from the 16th through the 18th centuries were actually women. Just as our American ancestors had their Salem Witch Trials, Europe had its Werewolf Trials, and a large number of the so-called “werewolves” tortured and burned at the stake were female. […]
In the 17th-century werewolf trials of Estonia, women were about 150 percent more likely to be accused of lycanthropy; however, they were about 100 percent less likely to be remembered for it.”
“Here’s also a pronounced lack of female werewolves in popular culture. Their near absence in literature and film is explained away by various fancies: they’re sterile, an aberration, or—most galling of all—they don’t even exist.Their omission from popular culture does one thing very effectively: It prevents us, and men especially, from being confronted by hairy, ugly, uncontrollable women. Shapeshifting women in fantasy stories tend to transform into animals that we consider feminine, such as cats or birds, which are pretty and dainty, and occasionally slick and wicked serpents. But because the werewolf represents traits that are accepted as masculine—strength, large size, violence, and hirsutism—we tend to think of the werewolf as being naturally male. The female werewolf is disturbing because she entirely breaks the rules of femininity.”
— Julia Oldham, Why Are There No Great Female Werewolves?
i don’t watch buzzfeed unsolved but that dude who keeps making fun of the demons or whatever has big about-to-get-possessed energy
one of these days a demon is gonna yank the spine out of his mouth like a ripcord
Glube Fics 